Friday, May 28
I am now at Cheryl's house..
I just come back from NUSS Guild House.. I am feeling super low.. I do now know why.. I am just feeling low.. Maybe of the song that I sing just now at NUSS Guild House.. I sang Leaving on a jet plane.. It is a song that represent Jin jin.. I suddenly miss her alot.. I do not know why.. I have ask Cheryl to accompany me to Jin Jin's tomb on the 5th of June.. I really want to make it.. It have been like 2 months that I ever visit her.. I was too busy.. I supposed that she is gone.. A place that she will never return..
Anyway, this maybe once a while blog as I am going to camp real soon.. Sigh.. I will miss blogging up.. I always enjoy blogging..
I have been drinking alot these few days.. I dun know why.. Maybe it is of the stress I am facing.. I am scared that I am not up to the standard to coach.. Will I meet up the standards of the trainers? I really do not know.. Suddenly feel like self esteem drop a big one..
Tml will be a busy day again.. Gonna go to office and stuff.. Most importantly is that I am going to stay at the apartment tml.. :( Den I am going to Union Square with Cheryl..
That's all Folks..
i
love you
5/28/2004 01:11:00 AM
Wednesday, May 26
I just come back from office.. Well, it have been a busy day for me since early noon.. I have been going around to view places for A Academy and Coach training too.. We have decided for the location for the Christmas Bash that we are going to have for the IAG members.. Practically, I have decided alot of tings today.. Well, it have been a nice trip anyway..
I am not going to Malaysia already.. I do not know why and do not ask me why.. Ask Cheryl..
During SK3, things was rather smooth.. I have to go in and out of office, to make sure the coaches have done their tests and have to mark it.. My god.. That Ryan.. Super Doper high ego.. Haha.. And in the end, he say sorry to me for giving me the attitude just now.. Anyway, he has an positive intention.. Which is to win his pride.. He just want to win Ping in his results.. That's all..
I talked to Carol just now ater SK3.. It is about my personal things and A Academy.. Maybe she is right, I am overloaded wih alot of stuffs.. Camps, A Academy and my committment somewhere else.. Rather, we have discussed alot of things but I do not want to say anything here..
Tomorrow it is my turn to go and view hotels already.. I have to start planning for my prom nite.. How cool can it be? Anyway, I make out a list of to do list for the different areas of my life right now.. And I have to balance all the things in my life right now..
Pracically Carol, Me and Cheryl is feeling down today.. For me is because there are alot of things to be done and alot of screwed up also occurs at the same time that make frustarted.. For Carol, is becuz of work and family which I do not want to say anything here.. For Cheryl is here entry to NUS.. Sigh.. Like that lor.. Do not want to say anything le..
That's all Folks..
i
love you
5/26/2004 02:17:00 AM
Tuesday, May 25
I jus finish doing my "A" Academy stuff.. I felt so tired.. I come up with a new system for them and introduced so much things to them like proposa writing, minutes, agenda, constitution, hierarchy, their money system, their communication wise and many more.. Sometime, I really wonder what I am doing all these for.. It does not really benefit me at all for doing all these.. Well, I just found a reason and that is becuz of Adil.. Really.. That's what friends are for.. I also want to do something good before I disappear in these world.. At least, I leave something behind for people to rememeber me..
Today was not feeling very good.. I am crying and drinking.. I do not know why.. But I can't burst out crying loud.. I felt like kept in a cage.. A few drop of tears just drop and they decided to stop already.. I wonder why.. One thing I definitely know is my heart is tearing my apart..
After that, I received a call from Carol.. Asking me to go down to office to discuss some stuff about A Academy.. I go down with some liquor flowing in my blood.. In the end, I lied to the rest saying tat it is sunburn.. Only two knows the truth and that is Adil and Carol.. Hehe.. In the end, got warning for her..
During Team bonding for IAG 1, Cherie have suddenly put alot of pressure on me.. I have not found out why I think this way.. They keep hinting that if we think we are not suitable, we better leave the camp.. Do not waste the 6 lifes that put into our hands and think lightly of it.. It reminds me that I am the one they refering to.. My self-confidence level drop in a way that I really feel like leaving at that time.. At the same time, I know that this what I enjoy doing.. I really miss it if I am to give up..
Another thing is I do not feel like going to Malaysia anymore.. I do not know why.. Though Andrew, Max and Wilson not going anymore.. But they are not the reason why I do not want to go.. Maybe I am too tired now to think..
May tomorrow be smoother.. I have to go to view location for A Academy with Adil and Carol.. And Cheryl will be joining us after her check up..
That's all folks..
i
love you
5/25/2004 03:40:00 AM
Monday, May 24
I just come back from AKLTG.. I went there to do my time line.. I would not tell what is time line all about.. But practically I am abit o shift i my perspection of certain things.. After going through, I called Max and request for broke up.. Seriously, I did not regret.. Really..
After Cheryl, Ping, Pearlyn and I finish our timeline.. We hug together and cry.. We thanks each other for being there for one another.. When I hug Cheryl,I realised that she cried evn worse.. Bad anchor.. =) Anyway, after that I told her that I broke off with Max.. And when Ping hears it, she was abit of emotional.. And hugs me and cry.. Giving me the most important leson in my life.. She allows me to understand the importance of friendship..
Durng Who I am make a difference.. The four of us ge together and made a friendship pact all of us will make the efort to do whatever it takes to my our friendship last.. For the fact that we see each other grow during POE, it will only allow us to grow even closer and stronger..
This morning, I went to Mrina Bay to givesupport to Cheryl, Ping and Pearlyn.. They are going through high beam.. ALl I can say.. Good Job.. Really.. After that Pearlyn have to go through the swinging log again.. And I am the one who kick the beam and did not go lenient on her.. Anyway, I almost did that.. Really.. Bt I realised that it does not do her any good and I decided to simply shout at her at the same time.. In the end, we did a confrontation with her and she got through..
We also do rebirth ring.. So cool.. Cheryl and Ping got revenge back on me.. They hit me real hard because this is wat I did when it is their turn.. Oops.. No wonder they wanna take revenge..
I have given out my very first sticker.. And it is to Carol.. Somebody must be wondering why I decide to give it to her.. But the reason is only one.. She is theone who inspired and encouraged me togrow.. Like a sister or mentor.. I really enjoy working with Carol.. Really.. The experience is realy something very different that working with her make me feel more confident and more compeititive.. Carol. U rocks..
I am very proud to have them (Cheryl, Ping, Pearlyn) as a friend and of cuz Adil.. Who we grow up in AKLTG together..
That's all folks..
i
love you
5/24/2004 04:17:00 AM
Sunday, May 23
Hello, I have just come back from A academy meeting which is held at Carol's place.. Sound interesting?! Anyway, I am proud of myself.. Or should I say very proud.. Hehe.. I am actually capable of such things.. I have re organize, re structure and implement new stuff new things to and for the executive committee of the A academy.. Practically, they are really a bunch of cool people.. What else can I say man? Hehe..
Den I an Carol like can talk as a friend and also talk like she is older den me.. Haha.. Ayway, the A Academy people treat me like 22 years old.. My goodness.. Am I so old? Shitty.. Haha.. But some of them say they jdge according to the level of maturity.. Heehee.. Luckily, after the meeting I also got childish act.. (-_-")
What I could say is I have done what I can do for them.. The rest is really up to them.. =) And I got to hand over this cute little baby to Adil to advise frm today onwards.. Still, I wil always be there for Adil whenever she need help.. That's what friends are for..
Anyway, before I go for my meeting.. I went to AKLTG office.. Believe it or not.. I cry again at the "Born To Win" session.. It is not that I am the participant.. It i that I just sit in and decide to learn some stuff and emotional just rush up my brain which indirectly allow me to cry.. =( Anyway, think about it.. It is a good thing.. =)
I aso wrote a note to Cheryl, Ping and Pearlyn.. Well, I just wish them all the best and let's cherish this firnedship and soar together hand in hand.. I do not know what is their reaction. To tem, t could be just a msg.. But to me, it really meant alot.. I do not want to lose any friends just liek that anymore.. I do not want someone and Jin Jin caseto happen on me again.. I do not want to get hurt anymore..
i
love you
5/23/2004 07:07:00 AM
Saturday, May 22
I have already blog in today but I decide to blog in again.. I also do not know why.. I miss someone.. =P
Anyway, I am talking to Annice just now and realised that she have been coping quite badly.. I want to help her.. But what can I do? Hmm.. That's a splendid question, isn't it? Well, can jolly well think about it.. She does not seems to be able to balance her life right now.. And I feel the need to talk to her and understand her problems.. And eventually help her solve..
I have decided.. This sunday will go to Concorde Hotel @ 12noon to 5pm.. Haha.. It is for high tea buffet.. Cool stuff.. Gotta call and book once I wake up later.. I am feeling terrible now.. Going to sleep soon..
I remembered that I need to visit Ping, Cheryl and Pearlyn at their module 3.. I think I will do it at sunday morning and from there I will go straight to hotel for the high tea.. After that, see how den decide wanna go back after high tea or not..
K lahz.. Gotta go.. Someone.. Take care in UK..
That's all Folks..
i
love you
5/22/2004 01:18:00 AM
Friday, May 21
Today I did not go coaching.. I am having slight fever.. I do not know why.. I supposed that I must really rest well now and drink plenty of water.. If not, I will not be able to survive the next few days.. =P I really need to have very healthy body to survive all the camps and activities that is coming along..
I am at home for the whole day.. How sad man.. While I am at home, I called the tour agency to ask about the price to go to KL and Genting.. I also called the hotels for the Prom to view their Ballroom and discuss the quotation with them.. The worst thing is that we have to visit the 4 hotels within a day.. My god.. I might as well just died.. I also arrange to have dinner with my parents today because I will be very busy from next Monday onwards till the 2nd of June.. It is time to be left for Dad and Mum.. And after that will be busy from 7th of June till 27th of June..
Me and my parents talked my experience working in AKLTG.. Not bad ya.. The friends I know and hangout with and the the experience I got is totally different..
Cheryl message me before she go outdoor for the activities.. She did not know that she is having swinging log today.. How interesting.. Beside swinging log and high element.. I do not know what outdoor activities they have.. I wonder how is Cheryl, Pearlyn, and Ping’s Module 3 coming along right now.. I pray that lord protect them from mishap and allow them to benefit to the maximum for the whole of module 3.. At the same time, give them the energy to overcome all problems..
I was thinking yesterday that how come I did not see someone at Tampines Mall when I go and have dinner with Andrew and Cheryl @ Iced Lemon Tee.. Den soon I realized that it is because someone might have gone to UK already.. I am so busy for the past few days to realized that time passes so fast and someone might just go UK anytime.. May someone enjoy the trip overseas and happiness last forever..
I am feeling abit lost right now.. Maybe I misses this someone.. How come I still think of someone? My feelings for someone should have fade by now.. How come things do not turn out the way I want? It come back again.. It shows that the previous day when I though that I like someone else and can substitute the always someone is only my guessing and misunderstanding.. I only want to escape from fact.. Forget it! I will be busy with camps and stuffs.. Let’s just allow time to flow by and allow my brain to forget about someone.. Still, I am always there for someone..
There will be Chong Zheng coaching and A Acad’s meeting at Carol’s house at 7pm after the coaching.. Hmm.. Interesting, isn’t it? Seeing how outside organization organize their stuffs to make sure how each program runs smoothly.. Well, I will see how Adil works when it come to this type of things..
*I am now listening to Chi Xin Jue Dui by Li Sheng Jie
This song is referring to A loved B a lot.. But out of no choice, they have to leave one another.. And A is know that the day that miracle will not happen that B will come back again.. Yet, A still waiting for miracle to happen.. (I wonder what will happen if I just pass away like that.. Who will actually be heartbroken over it? Maybe there will be none..)
i
love you
5/21/2004 08:10:00 PM
Hurt
Today, Max injured his leg and I have to send him to hospital to have his vaccination and splinter done.. In the cab, I did not talk much to him.. Neither did he.. Eventually, it seems like we are just like stranger to each other.. I dare to say that I am hurt..
Gratitude and Supportive
After that, I went to Chong Zheng to coach.. With negative feelings in me.. Luckily I see Ping and Friends which make me feel abit better.. Den suddenly, the atmosphere at Chong Zheng is very different today as Carol have some problem or should I say issue among the trainers.. Well, though I know something happened when I have not even being told.. I know that I could sense like something got to do with Carol… My mood got worse.. I treat Carol like my elder sister, I want to protect her from the hurt she got.. But there is nothing I can do.. Shitty..
Carol really did a lot for me and other things.. I am always with her and I could tell from there..
Me and Cheryl feel unfair for Carol but there is nothing me and Cheryl can do.. And we are worried too that something might happen.. No matter what we felt for this whole damn thing, there is nothing we can do.. I do not want to say it out here what exactly happen as this is not my problems.. But I just want to let people here know that I always support Carol..
Comfort
When thing got settled abit.. I and Ping went to buy stuffs for Cherie and we talked about what happen.. We met Cheryl along the way and decided to sit down together and talked.. Ping, Me and Cheryl share our problems.. And have a short talks about relationships and Carol’s thingy.. We shared about our relationship.. How Ping and Ryan quarreled.. About me staffing and attending Asia Works.. And also partly mentioned Carol.. The three of us can see how much effort Carol have put in for A Acad and Training.. And we really appreciate her..
Hungry
Andrew, Cheryl and I went for dinner after the coaching and we decided to go to Tampines Mall for our pasta mania.. That place have memory for me and Cheryl.. Bad anchor.. Haha..
Appreciation
After dinner, I went down to office for Advance Module Team Bonding and it is real fun.. I am pair up with Trina as buddies and Game Master I/C with Cheryl for the camp.. That so unlucky of me, isn’t it? Haha.. Just kidding..
Disappointment and Good
During all these shit, things got even worse when our SBGs have problems.. As Shaun always find excuse not to turn up for the meeting that I have to make the painful decision to kick him out for the whole damn thing.. Which I Ido no want to but he left me with no choice.. I do not want the whole group to be demoralized by his stupid action.. In the end, Sherman and Adil came.. I feel so good.. At least something is being done here and our effort did not go down the drain..
Fun and Interesting
During meeting, Cheryl join us to contribute ideas and stuff.. In the end, I got what I want.. I got Adil to join us or Super Kids Camp 3.. Seriously, I am very proud of myself to enable her to actually make another move for herself.. And make the first step to chance what it takes to let her be motivated, high self confident and build self discipline.. Isn’t that going to be interesting..
Hapy and Enthusiatic
After meeting, Me, Cheryl and Pearlyn played out heart out by biting and hitting one another.. I still have Cheryl's toothmark on me.. We really like small little kids playing.. Messing around.. We also discussed about going to KL and Genting.. And we started planning our schedules.. Haha.. We are so enthusiatic about it..
Scared and Worried
In the cab home, I am talking to Pearlyn about me and Max.. All I need is to think if I wanna give up this relationship or not.. Sigh.. That’s all I can think of Max.. And I told Pearlyn that the group of 5 of us might just split as when times come for us to be back o school and stuff.. I am worried that we might reach this stage.. Seriously, I really like this group of friends.. And I am afraid the day we split.. I will definitely do whatever I takes to make this friendship lasts..
Friendships
Though I feel that me and Cheryl are closer as we have alot of similar camps and stuff to do togther.. We also Ping who is the next closer.. Den follow by Pearlyn, Theeban and Trina. Nevertheless, I also have Andrew.. Anyway, we formed a informal SBG group today to keep in contact with one another and except for Andrew.. That's one way to be keep in contact..
Committed and Happy
Me and Pearlyn just sms one another and committed to do whatever it takes to make this friendship lasts..
Apologetic
I know today blogging is abit long as today alot of emotional things happen.. Bear with me.. That's all, Folks..
i
love you
5/21/2004 03:04:00 AM
Thursday, May 20
Today last day for Chong Zheng Camp 1.. But tomorrow got somemore coaching to go.. Haha.. There is camp 2 what.. Anyway, really enjoy working with Xiu Li, Ping, Andrew, Cheryl, Theeban, Sissy, and Myself @ Camp 1.. And also Pearlyn visiting.. Really want to come a chance that we can work together again.. And I enjoyed seeing how the trainers work.. Especially, Carol and Cherie.. Thanks..
After that, I and Carol headed down for Coaching Seminar by this someone called Kelly.. I have the CDs as it is given when register for it.. Hmm.. It costs me $150.. Before that in the Taxi back to office waitign for Jaimie.. We discussed about A Acad.. There will be Mind Map compeition and so on.. We will be discussing it further this sat at Carol's house..
And my boyfriend.. She told me that if she is my boyfriend, she will sure be very sad.. As I prefer to go for my career and interest den to spend time with him.. This fact, drilled into my brain again.. Suddenly felt that yesterday? I should not say sorry to Max.. Must as well, break off.. Since I am the one who seems to be in the fault now.. I scared that I hurt him again like how others hurt me.. And I do not want that to happen..
During dinner, with Jaimie and Carol, we ordered alot of food.. But once again.. Sigh.. I did not pay again..(Next time, must remember to say if I don pay for myself, I don eat.. Haha..) As we eating, we discussed about going overseas.. Carol was thinking why do nto we change the rip to Australia since we were out to craving for exciting rides.. Therefore, we decided to change out trip to KL to Australia.. Well, that's provided that it is cheap.. Well, think about it.. It is during holiday.. How cheap can it become?
@ 7pm, we headed down to Kelly seminar @ DBS building.. It was not a bad talk after all.. And of course I learnt quite alot of new stuff.. And It is all about Coaching.. Anyway, I would not be saying anything here.. If not, it would not be exclusive, isn't it? If you wanna know, ask me can liao..
Cheryl and Sissy and Pearlyn as Pearlyn is the DJ of Suntec City Fountain.. They went there and sit.. Haha.. Luckily, I went for Semniar and did not agree to watch movie with them.. Haha.. I sms them when the Seminar is ending.. They went to Moon River for dinner.. After that, Only Cheryl is joining me and Carol.. Why? Who ask Carol and Cheryl to be sisters? Haha..
We went to INK with Jaimie first (did i spell correctly?), it is so high class.. There are alot of Caucasian.. The kind of guys I like.. Serious.. I really prefer their kind.. (Cheryl abit like foreigner too) At Ink.. Go there drink Champange one.. My God.. Really not get use to it.. *PenGz* I told Carol that it is not a place for kids.. Which is.. Ahem.. At INK, I went to sms Ying Ying.. She is also busy working and stuff.. Hmm.. We have decided to go to Klong within the date of 2nd to 6th of June.. Which is the only time slot I left for rest and play.. Cuz I am not coaching SK1..
Really miss my poly friends alot.. Think about it.. It is different life @ AKLTG.. They are more wild as nature.. Haha.. Especialy Ai Ling.. The things that the two groups of my friends enjoyed and like is also different.. It is all different feelings after all.. I wonder will the friendship in AKLTG stops..
Think about it this way, all of us will be heading for different direction after school reopens.. Some of us eventually will be busy with schools like me.. Cheryl and Ping maybe gong overseas study.. Who knows.. And Pearlyn and Adil lahz.. Starts school le.. After that, everything will change.. No wonder they always says that good things doesnot last long.. I really want the holiday to last longer.. But how? =..(
After that, Brenda, Carol and me are sort of hungry so that we went to Equinox with Cheryl.. Wonder where it is? It is the 70 level of Westin Hotel aka Swissotel.. Cool huh? We ordered alot of food like Seafood challenge, BBQ stuff, Chicken Wing and Potato Wedges and also drink some cocktail liek After nine thingy, Sweet Seduction which only smell sweet but taste Antibotic and Caiparnha all which really make me cok.. Haha.. I enjoyed the food and drinks there.. Really.. Nevertheless, hat we enjoyed most is the time togther and enjoy the nice and beautiful scenery and some silly chat.. It is really fantastic.. We went there till 1.35am den we left and headed for home.. (Lucky, Carol did not kidnap me)..
Thinking : Something we talked about at Equinox.. Sometime life is really unfair.. I hated it.. I cannot say what happen here as It is really secret that should be kept between four of us.. F*** them.. Think about it.. If you are really that good.. Start yr own business.. Do not come here and act as if you are great just because you are someone friends..
Hmm.. Something to add on.. Sometime, I really feel like Carol is my sister like that.. Sometime also feel that someone who is more senior than me.. Sometime to enjoy together or work together.. Really an eye opener to be togther with Carol.. She have alot of fighting spirit.. Her character is only 50% of mine.. What she likes and enjoy.. Practically is what I enjoy doing.. Like eatng shell-liked food? Haha.. Hmm.. Wonder what will happen after school reopen.. Whaever it is, I will always support Carol.. I hate guys who bully girls and despised them.. F*** Them..
Goota sleep.. Later at 11am got Chong Zheng Primary Camp 2.. Need to call Cheryl later also.. See if can go down to Advance Module team bonding or not..
That's all, Folks..
i
love you
5/20/2004 02:17:00 AM
Wednesday, May 19
Practically, I am dead tired now.. I felt a bit sick now.. I also do not know why.. I think I am lacking of water.. Seriously lacking type..
Today, I went to Chong Zheng again.. When the kids are having their Born To Win session, we went to canteen to have our little conversation and games to put our VAK abilities to test.. Haha.. I sort of think that it will improved in the end.. Haha.. Nice day today..
Andrew, Cheryl and me were like discussing on going KL together.. I have promised them.. And our current plan will be like go to Genting on 11th and meet the guys there and 13th, we will down to KL with the guys.. Which is Max, Wilson, and Max.. And come back on 16th of June to continue with Cheryl and I's fighting spirit journey for SK3..
After Chong Zheng Pri @ 9pm, I rush down to AKLTG to be tuition teacher for some of the new coaches.. And help out with the training and teaching when the trainers have their meetings..
At the same time, Richardo was also at coaching training because I tot of helping Carol to find people to do coaching and also to introduced him to this industries.. =) But I do not tink things will work out for him after hearing what Carol says..
I spoke to Cheryl today while waiting for Carol to finish.. We were talking about our past relationship and stuff and only leave the office at 1am.. Haha.. That was a nice chat.. So cool.. We took a photo together.. It is very nice.. But too bad that I did not have MMS for my phone...
When Carol send me home just now, she wanted to psycho me to go her place and sleep.. Dangerous sia.. Haha.. I did not have any clothes to change into lor.. So I rejected.. =P Next week bah.. After the KTV session, we are going to have next thursday.. I think I am going to enjoy myself..
i
love you
5/19/2004 01:23:00 AM
Tuesday, May 18
This morning.. I went to meet my current BF.. We quarrel.. He is not happy with my schedule for coaching.. And he say I did not care.. Sigh.. People who know me will know that I am not those kind of people Who wil put relationship first.. So sucky.. I do not what to do now.. I and him are smsing right now.. Quarrel again..
After that, I went to take my sub paper.. =) things quite ok lor..
Today, I went to Chong Zheng Pri to coach.. Haha.. Interesting.. It is my first tme coaching.. Though it is like nothing to do.. But it is a good chance for all of us to gather and chat.. Haha.. =) It really fun to see the kid's reaction too.. So cool and interesting..
And I notice that Carol and Cherie they all really.. Damn funny people.. But.. Really got shocked of my life too with some of them..
When I went there.. I saw Max.. And my reaction was like why he is here.. and when he see me, he have the same thinking as me.. Andrew saw what happen.. Den he keep on asking me about Max until that Ping feel that Andrew is insensitive abot my feelings and she is abit angry.. Gary also make fun of me and Max too.. -_-" But in the end,it seems that nobody approves of what Max is doing.. (relationship wise)..
I went to dinner with Carol and Cheryl at Thai Express.. Hmm.. All because of my stomach.. I cannot eat spicy food.. Sigh.. Shit lor.. It is damn pain after I eat Mee Siam.. Shitty.. Den I have to bear the pain and walk out of school to 7 eleven to but actal to cure my bloody pain.. After eatting medicine, den I feel better.. What this is man..
Anyway, I am going to coach at Malaysia @ AKLTG this coming November holiday.. I really cannot wait for that to happen.. haha.. It will be during my holidays.. And it will be held at Malaysia 1 week before my prom.. So now, the more I have to make sure that there is no screwed up totally.. So that I can make myself absent from 1 week before Prom.. And coach..
That's all.. No mood to blog.. Quarreling with BF now.. I have hurt his pride..
i
love you
5/18/2004 12:07:00 AM
Monday, May 17
Yoz.. I have just come back from Coach Training @ AKLTG.. It was really fun there.. So cool.. I get to know more friends like Cheryl, Ping, Trina, Pearlyn, Ying Yan.. Esp Me, Cheryl, Trina and Ping have gone through alot together to get each of us through the training.. We do revision together.. Sharing of experiences.. Help one another when each of us is in need.. At least, It make me capable to be a coach.. And I manage to pass the test and able to coach for all the camps and stuff..
Saturday
Early in the morning I went to AKLTG for coach training.. I do not know if I want to stay over but I pack my bag.. Just in case I would want to stay over.. I wanna see how first.. It like more people stay den I will stay.. It was until noon when Ping and Cheryl ask me if I am staying den I decided to go ahead wih my plan.. Den I got to know that Cheryl was a great dancer in fact..
During the whole noon, Gary, Ramesh and Carol bomb us with all the accelerated techniques within one day.. That was really putting myself on the line.. And it is like I long time never go back and touch all these already..
Yesterday night training ends at 10pm.. Carol came up to me and Cheryl asking us if we want to watch "TROY" after the training.. I decided to go with Zack and Carol.. Tagging along with Cheryl, Ping and Trina.. Before movies, I went to Attris and stay with Cheryl, Ping, Gerald, Pearlyn, Trina and Kyrie.. And settle down with our stuff first..
We take turns to bath until Carol’s call us down.. Den we find reason to run out of he apartment and went for the movies.. Zack paid for our tickets.. Thanks.. I was like enjoying the show while drinking my stuff and eating chocolate.. Really cannot live without it.. During the movie, I received Adil's msg.. She is not coming back to coach anymore.. As in not this holiday.. She say she have low self confident.. Soon I decided that I will tell Carol after the show so that she will enjoy her show and worried later.. In the end, Adil went to blog up her blog and let me read it as that I know what happen as she is not able to speak to me directly.. After the show it was like so late.. We come back in 3am plus..
Sunday
Today, we rush back to the training room.. With our breakfast and so energize.. Haha.. We have revision so may times together until we are so confident of passing.. We chatted so much and play with one another.. And do so much sharing and exercises together... Den we have test after that and I score 272/288.. Not the best becuz Cheryl got 282 which is the highest among the four of us.. So good.. =P
We also went on to like crack some lame jokes and stuff.. What the hell I am doing.. Just to go through the whole day..
85 gang
We are born in the year of 1985… Though the four of us.. (Cheryl, me, Ping and Trina) was together only for the past 2 days.. But we are just like very good friends.. It feels very good when people are just there for you.. Encourage you, keep you motivated and stuff.. It is so cool.. If given a chance, I would really want to build up this friendship..
Cheryl, a nice friend to talk too.. Really sweet and positive.. I always see her smiling..
Ping, a serious friend when it come to serious work.. Who like cute stuff.. Haha.. She always going crazy too.. And loving girlfriend to her boyfriend..
Trina, more quiet person.. Do not really talk much..
Adil
Adil is another person I want to say.. I really want her to come back to coaching.. Actually, think about it.. She really can do it de.. She is not as bad as what a lot of other people think.. As a friend of her, the last thing I wanna happen is to see her fall..
Tomorrow
Tomorrow will be down to Chong Zheng Primary to do coaching, There will be Cheryl again.. Haha.. Ping.. Xiu Li and Andrew.. Before that I go, I will be heading down to school to do Supplementary paper.. Hmm.. I can't wait for the KTV session and time to be with Cheryl they all.. It have been a real long time that I ever sing at KYV.. Now must wait see Carol when free can liao wor… Looking forward..
That's all folks.. All the fun I have.. Words can't describe it..
i
love you
5/17/2004 12:42:00 AM
Thursday, May 13
I have deep feelings today.. I want to find another way out for myself now.. I wanted to go overseas to continue to study.. I really regretted studying engineering.. I do not know what to do now.. I have never felt so angry with myself before..
I know if I want to go overseas, I have to give up a lot of things here in Singapore.. Firstly is AKLTG, NTI, Alumni and friends.. Last but not least will be my parents.. Think about it, what is that that I can’t put down for my future? Though things will not go on according to my plan.. But I really do not wish to continue studying IFC.. I have decided to take my supplementary paper.. If after the supplementary paper, I did not managed to pass half of what I am taking.. I will talk to my parents and drop course..
Today, Ailing and friends supposed to come to my house.. In the end, they did not turn up.. Somehow disappointed with what happen.. Hah.. It is not because of we can’t spend time together but rather because, I specially put out a day for them to come and enjoy.. In the end, they never come except for Ying Ying.. Haha.. Chun Ting called me.. She did not know that we are meeting today and the time is fixed.. Haha.. -_-“ Too late le.. I am at my aunt’s house..
*sObz* I do not know why I am XXXX now.. I think I am more of angry with myself to get myself into a stage where I am such a failure in my course.. I think this really teach me a lesson on not to listen to my parents on whatever they say.. It is time for me to make decision for myself.. I have to decide my future myself..
I went out with Carol and Adil., Adil was involved in the A academy and I am involved in the coach training.. Whao.. Haha..Next time will go around with Carol.. That is the next challenge I have for myself.. I am definitely looking forward to what I am going to have.. Do whatever it takes..
Another Challenges of mine is that I am approach by NTI to become a trainer..Not at the moment.. But soon.. My manager already introduced.. Haha.. I just joined the company.. By right,I am supposed to go step by step, course by course.. Now, I am able to jump a few level and attend one of the important course by going to intervew.. =) What can I ask for? I am more than happy.. But I ask for more..
That’s all, Folks.. Some time it is just so demoralizing to be in this place.. Or should I say world?
i
love you
5/13/2004 10:00:00 PM
Wednesday, May 12
Today, I went to this company called NTI.. I know quite a lot of friends from there.. I know this guy called David.. One of the manager in the company.. He is 20 years old.. Not bad.. He is good looking for sure.. Most importantly he is somebody different from normal guys..
I have registered myself as a network there.. I paid $900 for it.. For some courses and some gifts.. I think it is worth it.. Want to know why? Come and find me.. There are big plans ahead.. I pray for my smooth sailing for the next 6 months..
Today, I went to Green View Sec for interview.. It is Straits Time who interview me and my friends.. All of us are from the Alumni.. It is a good news for Green View Alumni.. To let more people know about Green View.. Though it is a new school but e have strong Alumni.. And it is so much different from the old school with Alumni.. The newspaper article will be out by 17th May on Straits Time.. This Friday, I will be going back to Green View again for photo taking session.. And at the same time, I will be meeting Richardo for Alumni thingy.. I will prepare everything first before going on Friday..
I heard a bad news today.. Annice’s mum passed away.. Poor girl.. She is only 16 years old and she has to bear the pain of her mum passing away.. Last year, she have to bear the pain of Jin Jin leaving.. Now is her mum.. I am sorry for her.. I want to let her know that I am always there for her.. I know now, she have a lot of friends beside her.. Annice, take good care of yourself.. Jin Jin, I know you can see what happen.. Please take good care of her while you are up above.. I miss you a lot..
That’s all Folks..
i
love you
5/12/2004 02:03:00 AM
Monday, May 10
I am pretty tired now.. I did not sleep well at my cousin place.. I have a bad dream and my brain is seems like working through the night.. Now, becuz of not enough sleep.. My brain is having concussion.. *pain*
I receive news today from Richardo that Greenview Alumni will be having interview with the Straits Time.. I need to be there at 2 pm this tuesday.. And I need to read through the question that is going to be asked and stuff.. I am pretty excited about it.. Haha.. I did not expect such a thing will happen on the Alumni..
And also becuz of this, I have to delay the time to visit Jia Yu's company.. Seriously, he is quite good looking.. Handsome.. But got attitude.. As if he is what like that.. My group of friends want me to change him if possible.. =P He say he wants to introduce me to his company.. I was impresed.. Haha.
Hmm.. This thursday, Ai Ling, Ying Ying, Chun Ting will be coming to my place to play badminton.. I have ask Ai Ling to ask Chong Hui, Yao Ping, Kim Thong, Marc and Shawn to come also.. It is going to be interesting.. Anyway, I sort of like force them to come.. Haha.. =P Miss them mahz.. Partly the reason is the june holiday is totally packed.. and I may have the chance to go with them again.. So got chance sure will go out with them..
What else? SBG meeting change to 24th June.. Before my team bonding session at 7pm.. And also my booster session with Chong Zheng's Date is also changed le.. Become at least 2 weeks earlier.. Everything keep changing.. Die.. Must keep my data with me all the time..
Busy people is always like that...
That's all I think.. Bye Folks..
i
love you
5/10/2004 01:04:00 AM
Saturday, May 8
Today is a special event.. Mothers' Day.. Great right? Everybody I believe will be busy with their gifts and surprises for their mum.. And of cuz, I am also more or less the same.. Tomorrow, I will be bringing my mum to Alexandra Rd to eat Thai Cuisines at one of the famous restuarant..
I just receive news from my manager that I maybe need to shift my meeting date.. Sigh.. My god.. I do not know what to do.. My june holiday is practically taken up except 2nd to 6th of June.. The rest.. No!!
Going out now.. Will continue later..
I just come back from Chomp Chomp.. Just drove there to eat with cousins.. Using my grand dad car.. I am very regret.. I crash my dad's car until that he does not trust me anymore.. I do not know what to do.. Now, I temporary would not be able to take his car until his trust regains..
Anyway, I have a good time just now with them.. Chatting with what we have been doing all these long.. A few of my cousins actually lost weight.. Except for me.. As usual.. Haha.. I decided to lose weight too.. I will do it.. Before school reopen.. I must be at least lost 15 kg.. That will be the first challenge I have for myself.. Yeah..!!
Now is 2am liao.. Still early.. I am now at my cousin's place to sleep over.. I must go home bfore 10am later because I have arrangement for my mother.. Hehe.. Goota go and bath.. Bye!!
=Someone=
I really happy that I have know you..
I am happy that we have been together for at least almost 2 years..
All the happy moment is not anything can substitute..
Now, everything is different.. We have our own different life.. We can even to the extend that we walk past one another without talking.. I really cannot believe that we have been together once and have been very good friends before.. Do you know how it feel inside me when I see all these happen? Why everything turns out this way?
I really sad and hurt that we have fallen apart..
I really regret that what we are today.. (What have I done? Is it becuz I still love you?)
All the happy moment will never come back again.. I know it deep in me..
I felt so lost without you now..
I have to admit that I still do love you..
I thought the feelings is gone..
Actually I am deceiving myself..
The special feeling is still there..
Now, all I want is you to be safe and happy..
The rest is no longer important to me anymore..
You have my blessing forever..
(I know that you still like me.. But for some reason, I know that we can not be togther.. We know it deep inside one another.. Becuase of this, you are avoiding me and I am avoiding you to hide all these feelings.. Hoping that it will go off one day.. And also we know that both of us are from different world of people.. We do not match one another in any single ways.. Except for the feelings we have in us.. While avoiding you, I realised that I miss you even more.. What about you? Well, still.. I would not force myself or you to accept this relationship anymore.. I just want to see you happy..)
LOVE YOU FOREVER IN ANYWAYS I CAN.. EVEN WHEN I DIE..
i
love you
5/08/2004 10:46:00 PM
10th May =
11th May = Meet Jia yu & SBG Meeting (Whole Day)
12th May =
13th May =
14th May = Spa Session @ Amore @ 2pm
15th May = Training (Whole Day)
16th May = Training (Whole Day)
17th May = Chong Zheng Pri (Whole Day)
18th May = Chong Zheng Pri, Modelling Forum (Whole Day)
19th May = Chong Zheng Pri (Whole Day)
20th May = Chong Zheng Pri (Whole Day)
21st May = Chong Zheng Pri (Whole Day)
22nd May = Chong Zheng Pri (Whole Day)
23rd May =
24th May = Team Bonding @ 7pm
25th May =
26th May = Team Bonding @ 7pm
27th May = Team Bonding @ 7pm
28th May = Team Bonding @ 7pm
29th May = I'm gifted, So are you Camp 1 (Whole Day)
30th May = I'm gifted, So are you Camp 1 (Whole Day)
31th May = I'm gifted, So are you Camp 1 (Whole Day)
1st June = I'm gifted, So are you Camp 1 (Whole Day)
2nd June = (Reserved for Genting trip with friends) (Whole Day)
3rd June = (Reserved for Genting trip with friends) (Whole Day)
4th June = (Reserved for Genting trip with friends) (Whole Day)
5th June = (Reserved for Genting trip with friends) (Whole Day)
6th June = (Reserved for Genting trip with friends) (Whole Day)
7th June = I'm gifted, So are you Camp 2 (Whole Day)
8th June = I'm gifted, So are you Camp 2 (Whole Day)
9th June = I'm gifted, So are you Camp 2 (Whole Day)
10th June = I'm gifted, So are you Camp 2 (Whole Day)
11th June = (Reserved for Alumni Retreat) (Whole Day)
12th June = (Reserved for Alumni Retreat) (Whole Day)
13th June = (Reserved for Alumni Retreat) (Whole Day)
14th June = (Reserved for Alumni Retreat & Batam Trip) (Whole Day)
15th June = (Reserved for Alumni Batam Trip) (Whole Day)
16th June = SuperKids 3 (Whole Day)
17th June = SuperKids 3 (Whole Day)
18th June = SuperKids 3 (Whole Day)
19th June = SuperKids 3 (Whole Day)
20th June = SuperKids 3 (Whole Day)
21st June =
22nd June =
23rd June =
24th June = I'm gifted, So are you Camp 3 (Whole Day)
25th June = I'm gifted, So are you Camp 3 (Whole Day)
26th June = I'm gifted, So are you Camp 3 (Whole Day)
27th June = I'm gifted, So are you Camp 3 (Whole Day)
28th June = School Reopens
i
love you
5/08/2004 12:01:00 PM
Which one u want to hear first?
Good news is my best friend's cousin whom I also know for quite a while have given birth to a baby boy last night when I am sleeping.. Congrats.. Baby is always the pillar of the future.. I am really happy for her..
Bad news is I have did badly for my exams.. I have to go for my supplementary paper.. I am very upset about that.. I want to do very well this time round.. Alright.. I do not want to say anythign more about this.. I do not want to affect my state..
That's all, Folks..
i
love you
5/08/2004 11:20:00 AM
Have u ever done something that you are really proud of? Well, I did.. And I am always did.. I am really proud of myself.. Though this might sound stupid or what.. But I gotta share this..
I have been in many leadership ever since I step into council.. In sec sch, I am not miss out for any major events going on.. I have organise from camps to important events like the concert.. And I was also the advisor of my junior's camp..And also heading the committe in Welfare during my student council years.. In CCA, I was well known of my tolerance and endurance of pain and stuff.. I am really proud of myself..
This is not enough..
After that, I was exposed to public camp called Super Teen.. Cool name? Haha.. After my camp,I went back to help out.. I was made the senior resource and camp coordinator after one camp experience when other people around me have 2 or more years of eperiences.. And continuously, as long as I am at the camp, I was continued made the camp coordinator..
There is more..
After I decided to leave Super Teen.. I went to AKLTG.. It is the same type of company as Super Teen.. I went to attend their POE.. Which is NLP training for adults.. After that, I went to coach for their children programme called I'm gifted and Super kids.. I have never attend this programme before but I was made the Assistant Programme Director of the Super Kids programme on my first attempt.. And I got the chance today to select who I want to have in this programme as a coach.. Those people I select are adults.. It is a different feelings that I always deal with kids or people around the same age as me..
I think this is enough but of cuz there are more to learn.. For what I have done, I felt that I have done quite alot of stuffs.. I got nothing to say.. =) I will be workng together with Cheryl on this.. Will be looking forward to this working chance together..
I am impressed with Carol today.. She really speaks damn well.. Haha.. Ideas and stuffs just go into her head just like that.. I must be like her one day.. And of cuz Cherie too.. I have know four new friends call Alvin, Adrian, Calista and Trissy.. They are really nice people who shared ideas and laughter together.. I am never afraid to be with them.. Haha.. I was only out from 6.15pm to 11.30pm and I have now so much things.. From the fact that so little time yet I can learn so much, this shows that this is a good place to be at.. ;)
=Anyway, Cheryl ask me to go to Genting from 2nd to 6th June.. Haha.. That's a good idea.. I shall see how.. If want, need to book fast.. if not room sure gone case..=
That's all, Folks..
i
love you
5/08/2004 01:28:00 AM
Friday, May 7
I am confused.. I do not know why.. But that definitely a good sign as my brain is looking for an answer that I never knew or never thought of it so far.. After this confusion, I know that things will be different from the past..
Today, I saw "someone" I treat it as I do not know this "someone".. Practically, my heart is breaking into pieces.. I know I'll glued it back and mend it like never break before.. All I need now is I need more time.. Becuz this "someone" still have a little positon in my heart.. For some reason, I know that I have the same importance in "someone's" heart as well.. If not, "someone" will not avoid me.. "someone" knew that this is the best solution for the both of us..
I understand "someone" too well, to know the reason why such things happen to both of us.. I just want it a way that I am happy or satisfy.. becuz there is special feeling for me to "someone".. I felt that in this way, I am rather selfish.. I only think of what I want, I do not want to get hurt.. I want to own the "someone".. I never thought of the future for me and the "someone".. For things happening at what it is at this very moment, I believe it is good for both of us..
I have swear of a new life.. Now, it is only the 5th day of my new life changes.. Things are alot to go on as I will be coaching alot of camps and learn alot of new things to a huge group to people and get exposed to all these like never before.. I know it myself that the kind of life that what I desired and also get my to my future and goals in life being a coach that help people to succeed in ife.. To guide teens along their growing up process.. Be their best friend.. And it is not about going crazy over "someone"..
Special sg to "someone": Though we are apart.. Any problems, you can always come and find me.. I will aways be there for you.. You are always the special "someone".. You should know it better than anyone..
i
love you
5/07/2004 03:36:00 AM
Wednesday, May 5
Have you ever feel helpless before? How does it feel like? What can make you feel hopeless?
I feel abit hopeless now.. I fail to do a thing.. I fail to be a good sister.. I am a coach, a tuition teacher, a senior, a advisor.. I succeed in teaching my juniors, friends and other camper.. But I fail to teach my brother good.. I really do not know what to say.. But I am extremely hurt.. I coach myself to be a good coach to everybody I know.. I want everybody around me to have the best benefits.. I will apply what I learn to them.. But why they just do not understand?
I have a friend who have a shadow of past with one of the family member.. Good news is I can save this person.. Bad news is the person do not willing to let me save.. People asking me not to let this person know.. To me, until today, this person remains in a important yet not shown position in my heart..
I have a good coach.. Paiboon shifted to become my neighbour (next to me!).. I felt so lucky.. I have a life coach by my side.. Anything, I can just contact him.. What else can be so lucky? I am!! From young, I have good pri sch teacher like Mrs Kit and Mr Kheng, Good sec sch teacher like Mr Tan, Mrs Ng, Mdm Cheah and Ms Tan.. and Poly I have Mr Steven Lee.. Outside, I have people like Adam Khoo, Gary Lee, Cherie, Carol and a bunch of very good friends like Richardo, Jn Hui and most importantly, Ernest to let me really know what I want in life.. "Unconditional Love to promote well being", If I am not given a single cent, I will still do it.. To teach a person well being.. It make me realised that not so many people in this world is so lucky..
My brother fails to plan but he wants freedom and luxury in life.. How? Everybody wants to succeed in life, but who will do it? Who will plan to do it? Who willing to step out of it comfort zone and really reflect? How? I want to send him to rehab centre personally den I will rest in peace..
Tomorrow, I will be going for AKLTG coaching selection.. If I fail to be selected, I have decided to go to Ernest's side.. I am willing to help anybody within my limits..
= Those who fail to plan, is to plan to fail.. =
i
love you
5/05/2004 03:38:00 AM
Tuesday, May 4
= Do not feel like blogging in =
i
love you
5/04/2004 11:59:00 PM
Monday, May 3
I am very tired.. I just come home from chalet.. I only sleep for like 3 hours.. So tired.. After that, I meet Jin Hui for a chat and come to my house to watch VCD.. That's all..
I went to Jumbo @ East Coast to eat dinner with parents and grandparents.. It was a mothers' day dinner for grandparents.. Actually, there is nothing to say actually..
i
love you
5/03/2004 11:46:00 PM
Sunday, May 2
Dear Diary,
I am goin to Chalet and BBQ tomorrow.. Will not be updating the blog for a day.. I still have not pack my bag.. I was watching VCD just now.. Will do it after listening to a CD.. It have been a nice day today going out.. I have bought a new sunglasses.. And a new jacket from Kappa.. Nice retro design and color.. =)
I am now listening to the free 10 CD given by Adam and Stuart.. Listening make me feel very inferior about myself.. U must be asking me why.. Well, I am now asking myself what kind of limiting belief I have.. I have decided to change my belief.. Nothing will stop me..
I want to study business.. Always.. And Counselling, Psychology, Mentoring and Coaching and Also Linguistic.. I wanted to be a teacher and also owns a tuition centre.. Seeing all the kids in this world to become useful people.. Letting them using the best method to study so that they can become the most outstanding kids around.. It have always been a dream that I afraid that It will never come true..
It because of this afraid and limiting belief that I am still young, I am still studying poly.. I am giving all these as excuses.. I have decided.. I have decided to start the very first step.. I will go on coaching in POE and other Program from AKLTG.. I will earn enough money to go to USA to have my NLP trainer license.. I will start with AKLTG to become a Master Practitioner.. I will be the youngest asia to do it.. I will win Stuart..
Yr Friend,
Joey Lee =)
i
love you
5/02/2004 03:36:00 AM
Amazed
Lonestar