Passion in Life

Wednesday, March 31

Tired

I start off my exams revision already.. So good.. =)

I have read up a few articles just now and have some great thoughts.. I got a business deal yesterday when I went to my friends company.. So.. I can't believe it.. Hehe.. Anyway, I also got to know a new friend.. He is also very young.. And got this own business le.. He wants to show me his company.. Hehe.. *show off* Anyway, he is a not bad.. A person of young age and so motivating towards his goals and dreams.. Hard to find.. Mostly guys at his age only know how to play.. His name is Jia Yu.. Let's us, the youngster, to fight and find our pride in our work and passion is..

I have made an important decision in where will I want to go after I graduate.. Sorry Jia Yu.. Not that I do not want to share with you my dreams.. But these type of things, I would want to keep it to myself as I change my mind all the time and nothing seems to be long term.. I do not want to be seen as someone who tell a lies.. I only can promise you that before I realised my deam, I will let you know.. Anyway, next week I will be attending my last module of NLP.. Things will sure to change again..

Anway, all of my friends and I are busy with school projects that we did not have much time to do some catching up.. What else? This weekend, we will be going to fisherman village.. At the same time, to celebrate Ai Ling's birthday.. I know what to buy for her le.. This weekend, my parents will be away.. I will have freedom.. Haha.. That's why go clubbing all these..

On Friday, I will be going clubbing too.. So shiok..
On Saturday, I will be going to Orchard eat buffet and go bugis shopping.. Den go fisherman village..
On Sunday, maybe going to friend's place..

Max haven't call me.. Both of us are watching America Idol 3.. Haha.. Enjoy show, k?

Elvish or Orcish What Language Are You?

i love you
3/31/2004 10:59:00 PM

Talking on phone now

I am talking to Max now.. I just fnish doing my homework and stuff and he called me.. Timing just so accurate that when I just keep my file and he called me.. I am hungry now.. He is angry with me for not eatting my dinner.. =( Tomorrow he off, but too bad I can't meet him.. Sorry..

Later I need to go and study my test liao.. Bo Bian one.. I cannot concentrate on writing.. Because I am talkng on phone.. I think I tomorrow den write liao.. Bye..

i love you
3/31/2004 12:35:00 AM

Tuesday, March 30

Reasonable Thoughts

I suddenly feel like blogging in.. I miss Stuart.. =X Haha.. I also do not know why.. Haha.. Too bad, he is 29..

Hmm.. Suddenly felt like so light.. No burden like that.. I started to foresee my future.. I agree with Stuart.. I must go to such gathering every month to feel the strength of all individuals.. And therefore, I will not lose my motivation to do whatever I want to do.. =)

After I decided to put things down.. I realised that feelings I have in me now.. It is so good..... Really good.. I do not need to worry if she is still angry with me.. What if this happen.. What if that happen.. I also got another good news.. I do not like somebody le.. I am free from my burden that I have with me for the past 1 years plus.. I only care for that person and that's all.. I rather pity the person because the person is seems to have some struggling in life at the very moment..

This is going to be very enriching to me.. I always think of things around me in short term basis.. I never thought of what happen now.. Will it affects my future.. I am careless.. I should have thought of it.. I regretted.. If I know that it will benefit me in such a way, I should have thought of it.. However, it is still not too late.. I am still in time to lead my life in a happy way..

Next week, I will further explore myself and my feelings and making sure that I can really 100% forget what I hate to remember.. I will make sure I do.. The feelings is just like going through a number of brain washing..

Next time, whenever I quarrel with friends, or whatever it is.. I know what to do le..

i love you
3/30/2004 03:54:00 PM

Monday, March 29

Go! Go! Go!

It have been so many days that I have not been blogging in.. I have been attending lesson call NLP during the weekend.. The lesson is from 9am to 2am.. It is a very good program from learn different things from.. I learn about Milton Model, Meta Model, and Anchoring.. And at the same time, I know alot of new friends there.. People who let me knwo where is my dream, my goals in life.. I am now more sure than ever what I need to do.. I promise myself that I will carry on with this spirit..

Yesterday.. Hmm.. A small thing happen.. Hehe.. After the thing happen, I am very depressed.. But l feel much better after Stuart talked to me.. Thanks, Stuart! At the end of the NLP program, he make me do a ride to my future.. Letting me know and realised who exactly is the one that I wil bring along to the future as a friend exactly .. Stuart says that my subconsious mind would not tell lie.. And Therefore whoever will appear in my heart at that process.. There are the friends that will continue me on the journey to the future.. So I must trust whatever I see in it.. I know it.. Now, I know who is the one and who is not the one in my journey..

I gotta say this journey is splendid.. I do not know how to explain.. Everything I see seems to be like on heaven.. My friend Adil also went on to the journey.. Both of us appeared in each others mind.. I wonder if it is the job of telepathy as we are sitting next to one another.. =)

He is right.. Friendship.. It is a thing that must be seen long term.. If we know that the friends does not lasts long.. What for we bother ourselves with them? Especially when it is childish act.. But of cuz, we do not delete off the needs to make new friends.. We will never know who exactly is the one who wll follow us to our very end.. No wonder they say friends are treasure.. But not all of them..

I just want to thanks those who have accomapany me in the past.. It is time for me to putsome of you down.. I do not want to carry on my journey with you.. You are mud, I am water.. We can't mix well.. Even we do, it is only temporary and after that,somethins may happen again to spoil it.. After that, I will still seep through and flow away.. I know who is it that I am refering to in my heart can already.. It is not good for me to mention here..

This saturday will be going to celebrate Ai Ling's birthday.. Hmm.. What present should I buy? =( Ai Ling arh..You know that that's the only solution, don't you? Hehe.. *Come tell me*

Adil, Let's look forward to Module 3 and cry together.. Miss ya.. *muackZ*

i love you
3/29/2004 10:24:00 PM

Friday, March 26

Very Stressed!!

I am doing ICA Project now.. Can die arh.. Later need to see doctor again liao.. Head pain sia.. Well, I aim to finish QE & ICA Projects by next week arh.. Tuesday is the QE and Thursday is the ICA Project.. Concurrently, I will finish my EDD Project.. Luckily, ROSW is do in class.. I do not need to bring it home.. If not, really can die one loh..

Next week is really the critical week.. At the same time, I need to complete my revision for all my examination subjects.. Which is going to be 4 of them.. 3 major subject which is 5 CU each and 1 important subjects that if I fail, It will cause my future's fate to lie in evil's hands.. *faint* Now, the importance is shown here.. I supposed now the importance of this year is clearly shown... Very clear somemore..

I do not know what to say already.. Really fixed.. Tomorrow is the NLP Module 2 somemore.. It deprived me off my weekend and I have to attend the lesson from 9am to 2am daily.. What the shit!! It seems that I have to sacrifice my weekdays and sleep real late.. I need to go buy chicken essence liao.. To build up my health.. Oh ya.. And coffee too.. To keep myself awake.. What else? Maybe can get some pig brains to eat.. Liven up and give nuitrisious to my brain.. haha..

Project Darling.. Darling... I coming... *muacks* =|~ I got to go le.. eee... *vomit* =)

*Blog Later*

i love you
3/26/2004 11:41:00 AM

Thursday, March 25

Stressed!!

I really feel like dying.. I felt very tired of al what happen.. What can be a better reason to stay in this world? I am very stressed.. Exams, Projects.. I do not know what to do now.. I am so lost.. Everything need to be rush now.. But who understand what I am going through?

So many things happen recently.. I do not know what else can goes wrong in my life now.. Family, School, what else? I have a very serious mood swing now.. My heart is like being put in a fruit sqeeuzer.. It is in great pain.. Yet, there is nothing I can do.. I only can let time heal my wound.. =(

If one day, I can just leave this world.. I think it would be better than living in this world.. Will it? I always wonder how the heaven look like.. Will I be happy? Enjoyig life with the angel? Too bad, I did not have the courage to even die.. I am really useless..

i love you
3/25/2004 09:34:00 PM

Wei Shen Me

I run away from home.. I am now staying at someone's place.. It is not "fang bian" for me to say it out here.. Anyway, I really cannot stand it anymore.. I somehow understand why my bro choose to run away from home in the past.. I really do.. This time round, I do not what kind of shit I got myself into.. Tomorrow, once I go home.. I will sure get a scolding from parents.. But I really have enough.. I felt breathless when I am at home.. Scared of this and scared of that.. I do not like that kind of feeling.. What shld I do now? Shld I go home tomorrow? I do not know..

With all these, I know that it is not called a home anymore.. My bro already starting to treat it like a hotel.. Come back late at night, use computer, cook something to eat.. Den next morning, he is out of the house again.. Why? What happen to my family? I do not want to be suspicious.. But the truth lies in front of me.. Whenever I am at home, I am always alone.. There are noone for me to talk to.. I always lock myself in the room to do school work or my own stuff.. What else? My parents are always together with their own world.. We used to go out in the weekend, now.. We do not even bother to do so..

I know it very well that my parents pin all hopes for me and stuff.. I really can not stand it.. Just because of yr son.. I am studying poly.. Full of projects, need to be research, alot of tutorial to be completed, alot of revison to be done.. Worse still, ecxams are coming and projects deadlines are reaching.. Yet they think I use my com only for MSn.. They off my modem with out letting me know.. I am still researching about my QE.. I am so lost.. What they want?

Nobody knows what I want.. Nobody understand me.. I always laughing at the outside.. But who knows what I am going through? I did not pretend to be happy.. The fact is, I am only happy when I am with my friends.. Really.. So carefree and no stress at all..

I am really very very tired.. Lord, Please teach me what to do.. Sometime, I really wonder is "DEATH" the only solution..... (T_T) *sObz*

i love you
3/25/2004 01:33:00 AM

Wednesday, March 24

HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!

After one whole day of schoolwork, it have finally come to an end.. My stomach really very pain.. I also dun noe y.. Stomach growling.. SIgh.. Need to go eat medicine later..

Yesterday, Adil message me.. She and her Boyfriend are back already.. Haha.. Previous night, we jus chatted on the phone.. She told me everything regarding both of them.. I only can say that she loves her stead a lot. This is the first time that I hear her saying all these.. Usually she does not give it a damn about it.. Now, she totally changes.. =) She is so happy that she only can sleep at 4am.. Haha..

Hmm.. Sometimes, I wonder why relationships are so complicated.. I really hate this.. The pain is so hurting that I feel like it is squeezing my heart out.. (T-T) Sigh.. I somehow can understand how my friend feels but these types of things are jus part of growing up process.. Every one of us has to go through.. We must learn how to overcome it and grow up from it.. It is just the matter of time.. Let time find its cure..

Tomorrow will be another exciting day coming along.. =) I will be having lunch with Ai Ling while waiting for Ying Ying.. She wants to do manicure at Tampines Mall.. HeeHee.. Accompany her den I also can go to TIMES to purchase world map also.. Tml is also the 25th March, Scooby Doo 2 will be screening.. I want to ask Ying Ying along.. She promised me before.. But.. Now all of us are busy with schoolwork and stuff.. I think I will see how things go first..

I do not know what to say but I really do not wish to stay at home now.. I wanna go to my grandma place..I do not want to stay at home.. I hate it.. *Crying* I really do not want...

i love you
3/24/2004 10:54:00 PM

Deadbeat

I just finish research about TQM.. There not much things found.. Head damn pain sia.. I think I need to go library and find liao.. I still have 3 more weeks to exams.. Hmm.. I need to arrange more tuitions and stay at home liao.. Need to do alot of revision at home.. And also to rush off some projects.. Alot of deadline are reaching le..

Mobcomp = Completed
EDD = Still have JSP - 25%
ROSW = Do it in class
QE = Still doing research - 20%
InetCapp = Still on the way - 30%

Aiyo.. Then exams.. 4 examination subjects.. Hmm.. Dunnno what to say.. My head is full of exams, full of projects, and school work.. And of course, I have still some personal problems.. I miss someone.. I do not wish to say who.. But.. *zip* The worse here is no one seems to understand.. In the family, I am refering to.. They always see me as playing.. I also do not know what to do.. Am I supposed to bring out all my books and study in front of them? I really do not know..

I am feeling alot of stress at the moment.. I do not know what to do.. I need one more round of spa soon.. Sigh.. Really.. I am going to Raffles Town Club.. Maybe around next week.. I want to have some steam bath to soothe myself.. I am going to bath again already.. Using special shower gel with Lavendar fragrance.. And also the essential oil to balance myself.. Sleeping time..

i love you
3/24/2004 12:43:00 AM

Tuesday, March 23

Dunno how..

Just finish doing reasearch on my GPA Calculator Java Scripts and "Total Quality Management" QE Project.. I realised that not everythig is available on net.. Becuz until now, I really can not find anything about it.. Die arhz.. 2 more weeks to go.. I need to pass up 2 projects.. One more is EDD.. That one I am not so worried.. Cuz it is group project and the stress is divided within all of us.. =)

This Sat and Sun, I have NLP program.. Den today I receive news about Student Council Investiture.. This saturday, they have it.. And of cuz, Someone from the Alumni contact me and ask me to go but I can't.. I do not want anything got to do with Alumni.. It is not becuz of personal reason between the exco.. It just that I do not feel like I belongs to one of them.. Therefore, I do not wish to attend anything or go out with them..

Ying Ying also ask me to go chiong.. But I dun think so I can make it.. Looing at the current situation.. I may end up deadbeat after everything..

Anyway, I have valid reason.. I can't go becuz of NLP module 2 lor.. =) I think this does not matter at all.. The whole thing will last for two whole day.. Saturday and Sunday From 9am to 2am.. Die arhz.. I will be spending my weekend there liao.. Afer playing for one weekend, now.. Time to seriously learn something.. *headache*

Just now, WQ msg me.. I did not reply.. I do not know what to say to him.. I do not know do I still like himm.. He apologize to me for asking me to wait so long.. But the problem is.. I do not think this as wait.. Becuz I and Steve got something going on.. Something less than stead and more than friends.. I do not want anymore relatonship at the moment.. I do not want to be like Adil.. Getting stuck in so many relationship or headache all these things..

*breathe in*,*breathe out*.. I go and bathe again.. This time with the soothing new body shop shower gel.. Hoping that it will works in helping me in relieving stress.. Oh ya.. I need to go and check out on bintan lagoon resorts pricing for our outing.. I all forgotten.. Got to go!!!!!

i love you
3/23/2004 12:53:00 AM

Monday, March 22

BBQ..

I am very full now.. Bloated from all the food we have.. Haha.. We have so much fun today.. I really enjoy myself today.. Cheers for our friendship!! *Bo Jio* Haha..

The day before, I went to sleep at my aunt place.. When we go collect the food, I have decided to go to Tampines to buy my new phone.. Afraid that all the phone go out of stock.. Therefore, I went to Tampines Mall today to get myself a Samsung X430.. I am so happy.. I have a new number liao.. I have not inform all of my friend yet.. Heehee.. Soon.. The time will come..

Den after that, I went for a haircut again at QB house.. Sigh.. Go trim a little.. I really hate this because my hair grow very fast.. =P Recently, I am facing a lot of stress.. With that, I went to Body shop and purchase a bottle of body wash for sleeping well at night.. That is so perfect..

I also accompany my aunt to purchase color contact lens.. I am going to get myself a pair soon.. It cost me around $75.. Considering about this.. I do not wish to say much..

Soon after I reach home, my friends all start arriving for the BBQ.. The sky started to turn dark.. It is going to rain soon.. I am so sad and worried..

In the end the god took pity on me and stop raining soon after we start BBQ.. Hehe.. All of us have so much fun.. There are 9 of us.. Me, Ying Ying, Ai Ling, Chun Ting, Marc, Chong Hui, Yao Ping, Kim Thong and of cuz Annabelle..

Ying Ying and Me went to the gym first while Ai Ling and Chun Ting went to Sauna.. The rest have not arrived yet.. After our Gym session, Chong Hui, Yao Ping and Marc arrived le.. At that time, the rain started to pour.. In the end, all of us arrived at the badminton court.. We have so much fun and soon Kim Thong and her GF arrived le..

We played for two hours and the rain just continue to pour..

I and Chun Ting went to Swim while the rest went to start fire and BBQ after playing badminton.. In the end, my aunt and grandparents arrived.. It is not the first time liao.. Every time we have BBQ or Chalet, they will come and help.. And of cuz, today is no exception..

I did not do any school work today.. Worried sia.. I am feeling terrible now.. I do not know why.. Suddenly, I feel like vomiting.. The food like all gather at my lungs.. I also do not know what happen.. I think I need to go and have a rest now.. My body is aching too..

i love you
3/22/2004 08:38:00 AM

Sunday, March 21

Excercise Day..

Quite late liao le.. i just come back from Hougang eatting porridge with my aunt and cousins.. I went to watch "The Eye 2" with two of my aunt.. Not scary one.. Haha.. I still feel that "The Eye" is more scary.. Hehe..

One whole busy day today, I went to play badminton with my friends.. I have Ying Ying, Chong Hui, Joycelyn, Yi Ling, and Yew Yi.. Den suddenly, Yu Ting appears with Teck Xiang.. I almost got the shock of my life.. Haha.. Some of the "Ling" say that he is good looking.. =) Seriously, Teck Xiang change alot since I know him from Primary School.. Anyway.. I hardly get to see all of them everyday and have a good chat.. Today, the badminton session.. Me and Yi Ling say about alot of things and update each other on what happen.. Haha..

After that, Me, Ai Ling, Ying Ying, Joycelyn and Chong Hui went to 85 marketplace.. Not bad, right? Hehe.. I did not eat really alot.. That's why I still can eat porridge at Hougang.. Den I quickly rush home because we are meeting each other again at 8pm togther and go to Joycelyn house.. Becuz me and Chong Hui wanted to burn songs from her hard drive.. Haha.. Happening sia..

I can not wait until tomorrow as we will be having a little friends gathering at my place.. There will be 10 of us.. Not bad right? Haha.. Playing badminton, using the gym, go sauna, and swimming together.. Haha.. It will be a fun and interesting day tomorrow.. The few of us also wanted to plan a time where all of us can go to any island and play sea sports.. And definitely I am looking forward to it..

Den my aunt pick me up at Joycelyn's house and we go to watch movie together..

Anyway, I have decided to change new number liao.. Ying and I wanted to get thye same phone.. But she want to depend on her aunt to see if the aunt wanted to prolong her plan den she see if she can take the phone.. For me, I will be getting a new phone Samsung X430 on Monday with my 4th aunt.. Free incoming call.. New Line, New Number.. I will go and inform the rest on Monday after I change..

This time round, I do not want to inform so many people liao.. Getting a new fone for me is also mean that I will be having 3 phone.. Aiyo.. Heehee.. After buying X430, I will be getting another phone around June again.. Well, that one later den say.. I got plan for it..

Anyway, Did I mention that Ai Ling went to do Manicure? Haha.. Beautiful sia.. Anyway, I hope that she can enjoy herself today.. She went to go and meet someone.. x-P Haha.. Tomorrow Ying ying also want to go and do her Manicure.. Buay Ta Han.. I went to Tampines Mall today, I forget to go Body Shop to buy the things I wanted.. So shitty.. I will remember on Monday to buy when I go and get my phone..

Ying Ying wanted to get a new pair of specs.. Hehe.. Ask me to go and accompnay her to go to make a pair.. I tell you.. I sure laugh until siao one if I see her in her specs.. Anyway.. Faster hor.. I scared the promotion over le.. I also want to say.. The reason for me of having two pairs of specs is because I can mix and match with my clothes.. Haha.. I also decided to get a new pair of sporty sunglasses for me to wear when I am playing sports.. Cool.. haha.. But I must wait till next month liao.. Because after getting the new phone.. I will have no money liao.. SiGh...

I think I got to go and koonz liao.. Too many things to say today.. I think continue to say also cannot finish.. Anyway, happy and enjoying day.. =) *yaWnZ* Busy day tomorrow.. Gotta sleep early.. Now already 3am..

i love you
3/21/2004 02:59:00 AM

Saturday, March 20

Feel It

I am going crazy.. You know the new movie "My Girl".. The lead actor is damn cute.. Hehe.. *dreaming*

Haha.. Happening Weekend..

Sat = Market
Study Time
Badminton Session
Family Dinner
Midnight Movie
Sun = Homework
Badminton
Barbeque

There will be a small BBQ at my place this sunday.. Another guessing from you, it is a last mins decision by my three frens.. Which is Ying Ying, Ai Ling and Chun Ting.. Haha.. There will be Yao Ping, Chong Hui and Marc too.. Hehe.. A small gathering for us to eat, chat and play.. Well, hope everything go on fine..

i love you
3/20/2004 01:55:00 AM

Friday, March 19

Shopping Centre! Amazing!!

1st - Fifth Avenue in New York
2nd - Christie's in New York
3rd - West Edmonton Mall in Canada

4th to 6th
Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills
Fifi And Romeo in Los Angeles
The Forum Shop in Los Angeles
Rose Bowl Flea Market, California
REI, Seattle
Royal Street, New Orleans
Bloomington Mall

Tis is great.. Well, I went to LA before.. But did not know that there is such a heaven there... Anyway, Canada is the best though it is on the 3rd position.. It have own swimming pool with 25 slides, with bungee jump, with Roller coaster (3 hoops, 5G).. My god.. ANd most importnatly, they have their own hotel room with different designs.. From Igloo to Jeep design.. That is fabulous..

i love you
3/19/2004 12:06:00 AM

Thursday, March 18

Yawnz

I am abit late to write my blog today.. All becuz of my new blogskins.. The retro one did not suit me previously..

Anyway, did I mention that I went to visit Super Teen School Progamme yesterday? Well, It been a while that I have last seen Ernest.. He is looking good..

Did I mention before that I did not want to go back to Super Teen Camp anymore? It is not that I dislike it.. But it is just that I wanted to learn something new this coming holiday.. Yap.. Like, Bartending and Hairstylist course which both will start during the holiday.. And I know it before I go and visit him that Ernest will mention about asking me to join him in training after my diploma.. I am right.. We shall see how things goes..

Yesterday, I went to see Ernest with Adil... She have changed a lot man.. The hair color.. Her attitude.. Her actions and stuffs.. Haha.. But of course she is still my friend ya.. Just that I am surprised and have another kind of feeling when I see her.. That’s all.. =)

i love you
3/18/2004 11:57:00 PM

Wednesday, March 17

Smell Good

Good morning.. Suddenly, I realised one thing.. I smell real good now.. I use the Echo Shower Gel.. Hehe... Nothing lor.. Sorry.. Abit bo liao today..

I am going to Super Teen Holiday Camp later.. Hope Ernest do not come to talk to me about being a trainer.. I currently wanted to concentrate on studies and learning my cocktail thingy.. I used to be very anthusiatic about this.. But something happen.. Yap.. That's y.. A few of my so call good friends at "ST", also not going back anymore le..

Benny = Ahem..
Marcus = Wu Shu
Mel = ?
Bert = Army
Adil = ?
Sherm = O level

Yap.. See how.. Update again tonight.. See ya!!

i love you
3/17/2004 08:48:00 AM

Tuesday, March 16

Dunno

I am not feeling well sia.. Dunno why.. Head quite pain.. It will sort of happening this week sia..

Tml= Collect specs, Then go out with Adil (sure very late go home)
Thurs = Lesson till 7pm.. KaoZ..
Friday = Chionging @ MS (Ying Ying, You better go.. If not, I angry.. X-P)
Sat = Badminton@ TP
Sun= Frens come my housee play Badminton, Sauna, Swimming... Some say wanna go Gym.. How?...

Heehee.. I will be collecting my specs tml.. Excited.. Also dunno fr what.. I am going crazy soon.. I also do not know what I am talking about here.. I think I wanna change my blog skin again.. I go watch VCD le.. Bye Bye.

i love you
3/16/2004 10:55:00 PM

Finally

Two reasons.. One is finally get my blog up le... Hehe.. New design.. Retro type de... Nice a not? This time got no shout box.. Do not feel like puttin one.. Anyway, this is not impt at all.. Another one is.. my specs will be ready le by tml.. I am so happy.. Now, everything change.. The next thing is? Hehe.. Secret..

Fri, I really wan to go to Mohd Sultan.. I gian liao.. Den This sat, I will be playing badminton with my friends.. Den Sunday, Ying Ying will be coming to my place again.. Why? Reason? Gym lor.. Mst ask her go swim also.. Hehe.. Den go sauna.. Happening hor.. Den Wed also go out with frens too.. This week!! Fully Book..

I am thinking about the Butterfly Effect.. Hmm.. Ai Ling is right.. Everybody seems to go for perfection.. But end up, only causing hurt to people around.. Sigh.. Do not want to talk about this le.. Late Liao.. Gd NiteZ..

i love you
3/16/2004 12:10:00 AM

Monday, March 15

Bits & Pieces

I think i really have nothing to do.. I am thinking on how to do the Java projectr.. Sound difficult.. But sound easy too.. I also do not know how.. I think there is alot of things for me to find out soon.. Headache.. *away*

*back* Hmm... Just type out some of the source code.. Tonight I need to compile all Java lecture notes, lab sheet, and solution for reference.. *away*

*back* I realised I can't possibly do two things at one time.. Sigh.. I just completed my sample view.. Haha.. Of how my project view should look like.. After drawing.. I realised that It is not that easy after all.. Hmm.. *thinking* I am freezing now.. Beri cold.. It is raining heavily outside.. My god!! Rain come and go.. 21st is this sunday.. It was expected to be the worse of all the previous day raining.. I am worried..

Time is up.. I got to go.. Now is break.. I need to go and do printing.. See ya guys..

i love you
3/15/2004 02:53:00 PM

Funny Day

Now I am in class.. Waiting for InetCap project to be given.. But we need to do survey for our Lecturer Ng Chee Loong.. Hehe.. The person who come to help out in the survey is a pretty lady, the class go gaga over her esp Desmond and Yew Yi they all.. Damn funny.. Den all of us tease him about the lady and the survey.. Mr Ng want the guys to treat him to coffee so that Mr Ng can tell them more about the lady..

I got my project liao.. It is #1.. Die arh.. It is either the easiest or the hardest.. =( How? Now, I die liao.. Waiting upon the news.. Keeping me in suspense.. *Hang myself* *Waiting* Yeah.. It is the easiset.. What else can I say... Wahaha... *Dancing* Hmm.. The project look quite difficult.. I think I need to put extra effort liao... Need report somemore.. Hmm.. Dun wan say liao.. Pengz... *Head pain* I wanna go off le..

Oh ya.. Ying Ying say wanna accompany me to the movie "Scooby Doo 2".. Heehee.. Must write down here.. So that she can not deny arh.. Haha.. Anyway, one more news is I am going to change my blog view already.. This is so plain.. Must go and change to something cool.. Lime myself.. =X *Vomit* Paiseh.. *Dance off*

i love you
3/15/2004 01:29:00 PM

Done!!

Actually do not wanna add blog today.. Today mood is damn slack sia.. Ying Ying come to my house from GYM.. I also very slack attitude.. Haha.. Den she also slack with me.. Den hor.. We have a little secret between us.. ;) I gtg sleep le.. Tired..

i love you
3/15/2004 02:44:00 AM

Sunday, March 14

Tired man

Today is a tired day.. Now is 1.30am and I am back from Supper with friends.. I went Orchard today.. I supposed to go S & K and Giordano.. But no time.. Too bad.. I bought myself a fragrance essential oil from Amore.. The essential oil have balancing purposes and also relief stress.. I also bought a bottle of Echo shower gel that is the same brand from my perfume.. The sales person is very good lor.. Give me free Bvlgari’s shower gel to try when I did not buy Bvlgari’s stuff.. Thanks!! Heehee..

I went to watch the butterfly effect @ Tampines Mall just now with Ai Ling, Ying Ying, Shu Xing and a new friend called Wei Xiong.. The show was good.. I personally feel that the show was good.. But I was lost half way through the show until one of my friend, Ying Ying explain those little things to me.. It was talking about how a guy want his history to be changed but most of the time having different outcome or make the whole situation become worse.. The show shows different type of outcome he could figure out and end up with different effects.. That’s the show..

The ending was good.. The main lead did not know the girl she deeply love but the rest of the other party involved in the show were sound and peace.. That’s the ending I want.. Loving a person need not to have the person.. As long as the person is sound, safe and happy.. I think that is the best thing you can grant them..

This really remind me of “someone”.. I realized it is not important to own the “someone”, as long the “someone” is happy.. I think I should be more than happy and glad le..

Before the movie, there were usually a lot of advertisement on coming new shows and things like that.. They introduced “Scooby Doo 2”.. When they were screening the advertisement when they are about to say the movie name.. I shouted out Jin Jin’s name.. I hope Ai Ling or Ying Ying did not hear me.. Later she think I siao.. =) I do not know why I shout too.. At that moment, my heart only filled with her face, her name and things like that.. I am very sad.. Really.. It remind me of “Scooby Doo”, the first movie in S’pore.. I watch it with Jin Jin.. I still remember clearly the day.. We enjoyed ourselves very much.. Now, “Scooby Doo 2” is out soon le.. I can’t watch it with her anymore.. She is dead.. =( I miss u a lot.. But I will still watch the show..

I think I should go and sleep already.. Later use the essential oil.. Cuz now, feeling is abit low.. =| Hope everything will be better tomorrow..

i love you
3/14/2004 01:39:00 AM

Saturday, March 13

Thoughts!!

I have some question...

I realised that changes in every single people is not easy.. You see.. Recently, I am posing alot of changes on myself.. But Am I really happy... Are all these changes really about me? Or it is just a person that I want to be therefore, I createdthe changes to suit what I want.. You know what I mean? I do not know.. Actually, It does not really come a cross my mind until today.. Suddenly, the question just come out of my mind..

I was used to be sort of quiet person.. And I was like not very havoc.. I do not go for bright colours.. I always go for those entrepreneur, business woman, and thigns like that.. I am not those cheerful type of person that will always put a smile on my face.. The image I potray to others is that I am a person who is full of thoughts that good at solving important stuff.. A person who always go for developmental program.. Always more matured den my own age.. I am not bull shitting here...

Now, it is like.. Everything changes.. I go for bright color.. I went for haircutting course, bartending.. I seems to hack care alot of stuff unless it is about me and it is a thing with high importance.. I do not enjoy those serious thing anymore.. I always laugh like noone else business.. I really do not know what to say.. This is just some thought of me..

I think I should do some thinking before I really regret..

For those who want to gif som advice, pls email me @ bluekoala35@yahoo.com.sg

i love you
3/13/2004 12:23:00 AM

Friday, March 12

BAcky!!

Yeoh.. I am back... I was saying that I am doing something serious ya? U believe or not?? Haha... Anyway, I thought of going to put a tattoo.. Sounds cool to me.. But I think it sound more of pain to alot of other people... Haha... *oUcH* =P HeeHee...I will consider properly before I make the choice.. I will more likely do it before I go for my NLP... If not, after that if I change hor.. I would not change my mind.. Even if I did, it is too late le lor..

I also have one more thing in mind.. I wanna go and dye my hair color again... =X This time, I want something more exotic ya.. With those color extension.. Hehe.. Maybe color like... GREEN?!?! See how first.. Currently, I am damn broke.. For some sacred reason... Maybe wait till April or mid april.. Haha.. Anyway, this decision will carry out for sure.. It is just a matter of time only...

what else? There is some sort of alot of changes sia.. Can you imagine me with?? Eee... I can't lor... Nvm... When the boat come to the dock, it will be str8 automatically...... After highlighting my hair, I would not spend any money anymore le.. I think It also time for me to learn how to save up liao... =) Hope so...

Oh ya.. A lof of thing happen recently.. I really hope that all of my friends who met with trouble can solve them asap... Good luck to u all.. In life, there are no smooth journey.. Even if there is, it does not last long... Well, the only solution to all these.. Only 1... And that is... Learn how to put it down nicely, and walk on... That it... Simple!!! But can it be easily done?? I doubt so...

i love you
3/12/2004 02:21:00 PM

Full of energy!!

Hehe.. Do not mistaken.. Not the boyband energy.. It is my energy in life man.. Really.. In me, I can't wait for alot of things... I am so excited until tired?? Haha.. But yesterday sleep too late... Now tired already.. =X I am talking nonsense lor.. Sigh.. But my shoulder is pain man.. I think too much extensive massage liao... Buay Ta han... Touch abit also pain sia.. Ouch...

I realised that I am going back to my havoc life again.. Thanks to Chun Ting, Ai Ling and Friends... Haha... Now, they almost go to chiong like twice to thrice a month... It is friday night somemore... Why not go sat night too?!?! =X Hehe.. I am not complaining... Just that, ever since polytechnic started.. Such life have stop long ago.. Now suddenly come back.. Damn shiok..

One more discovery.. not only life become more havoc.. I also become more havoc.. I can not stand slow song anymore... I do not know why.. Den Now, I taking up courses and reading about havoc thingy... Hehe.. Den even my specs is hot red lor... What else?? I think I only lag of hippy clothing... *thinking* Maybe can go buy.. Haha.. Kidding... I dun have so much $$ at the moment...

Not only that.. I have also want to do a thing that is everlasting.. If not handle carefully, I might regret forever.. Even if regret, also no use man... Heeheee... Lesson starts liao... I will say it all out tonight!!!!!!!!!! Do I sound like very enthusiatic??

=CURIOSITY KILLS A CAT=

i love you
3/12/2004 10:43:00 AM

Thursday, March 11

Change for the good!!

Busy Day man… Hehee…

9am – Breakfast @ Mac
10.30am – Bring Cousin to School
11am – School Lecture
12pm – Meet Ailing
1pm – Meet Liling for FYP selection and Lunch
3pm – Steam bath and Spa
5pm – Gram’s Place for Dinner
7pm – Meet someone special…

My god… Totally pack lor… I feel much better today man… Yesterday my mood was real bad that I did not even want to enter any blog… But I did write a dairy of my own…

The Amore spa was good man... Good service... Hit off well with the people there... Hehe.. FIrstly, I went for steambath... So shiok... Like after a long run den all the pores open and the toxic waste was washed off... After that, I went into a small room for massage... Whao... I have a good talk with my massager?? (hope I got it right) But then, I fall asleep... Really sound asleep... TIt is call the AromaTherapy... The aroma was good.. It is for balancing... But the smell was damn good... I bought a bottle of it after massage...

After the whole thing, I purchased a package... It have 15 session of massage, spa and wrap... It cost me $880... SO expensive sia... But it is good... For me to pamper myself... =)I think I fall in love with the steam bath... I have ask my mum to go to steam bath this weekend at Raffles Town Club... I will pay for her to relax herself... Enjoy Mum!! I think Iwill go to Amore frequently... Really... I will make use of the steambath... After the package, I will purchase more... Yoga and Kickboxing Session roxs...

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!

Now what?!?! I chang specs... I got myself a good deal here.. From Nanyang Optical @ Simei... I went to other branch also dun have such a cheap price... From $240 to $180... Hehe.. Red Frame somemore... I will be collecting it on Tuesday... I can't wait man...

Ailing?!?! How's the concert?? I just recieved your message... I am happy to hear that you have enjoy yrself man.. Heehee.. Scared that it will bored you man.. Later you scold me.. Hehe... Anyway, luckily it did't.. *whew* =)

I think I gotta stop here... Sort of feel like so carefree... So Shiok MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love you
3/11/2004 10:42:00 PM

Tuesday, March 9

Bad Mood!! Really very bad!!

I do not know why.. Ever since ths afternoon, I can't concentrate on my things to do.. I have 3 bad news..

First
One of my fren is going to jail.. He is one of my very good friend.. Now, there is nothing I can do to help him.. I still remember those days when he help me with my problems and be there for me whenever I am down..

I still remember when one day, I quarrel with WQ.. I was at camp.. I msg him.. In the end, he straight away hire a cab down to talk to me, to comfort me.. He just there. Really thank you.. I know that you can't read this now but the hearing is next week, I know you will be alright.. Then you will be able to read this.. God will bless you.. You are a good fren.. A good one.. *cRy*

Second
I finally sort things out with WQ.. We have seperate for a while to think through our relationship.. I think that what both of us need at the moment.. There are alot of changes in me that he does not even know.. How to be a boyfriend of mine? He did not want break up also.. Actually, seperation to me is only temporary.. Sooner or later, we will broke off.. *saD* GoOd oR bAd?? I do not know..

My Friend once said if you do not like a person do not hold onto the person and deprived the person to find someone that really more suitable.. I find it very true.. But what can I do??

Third
My family thingy.. I beginning to hate my bro.. I do not want to say the reaso.. Whatever is it, it is family matter that I do not wish to say it out here..

I miss my shoes suddenly.. THe shoes that I bought at converse.. I wanna cursed the person who took my shoes.. I cursed him or her.. That whatever the person do will fail. Alive also cannot.. Dead also cannot..

I wonder why life is so miserable.................

i love you
3/09/2004 09:46:00 PM

Bad News!!

I have a very bad news.. I do not know how to say it or how true it is.. One of my fren maybe in jail.. Me and one of my good fren did not hear from him for a long time liao.. Den suddenly need to settle something tomorrow.. I really do not know what to do.. Talk tml.. I am mixed..

i love you
3/09/2004 01:15:00 AM

Monday, March 8

Yawning all the way

From the title already know how is my day liao.. Today have been raining for the whole day.. I do not know why but I am feeling abit of mix.. Happy with the changes but yet still wanted to tink twice.. Aiya.. I do not want to say anymore..

i love you
3/08/2004 01:54:00 PM

Sunday, March 7

Courses!! && CHANGES!!!

I have some interesting news.. I have deicded to go for hairstyling course.. Hehe.. I am looking forward to the day man.. Yeah!! It cost me $1200.. I think that it will be a very good experience... Then during school holiday, I can work part time hairstylist.. Yeah!! Hehe.. One of the guy I just met today introduced me this line.. And after much thinking and discussion with my family and friends, I decided to go for it.. =)

Well, so fast sunday already.. I did not write blog for two days already.. Hehe..

This morning.. I went to visit Jinjin's tomb with Jin Hui.. Den I went to fix up a new specs.. So hot.. I fixed a red frame one.. Wahaha.. I wonder how I look like.. My cousin saw me at my aunt's place and realised that I have changed alot.. *thinking* is it???? I really do not know also.. haha.. In what sense?? Look arh?? Hehe.. She say look and attitude.. Change for the better.. now more tidy (hair shorter.. went to QB to trim) , and happier.. But getting more and more busy (courses, revisions, Projects, homework).. Aiyo.. haha.. Fate lor.. U also can, dear.. *Shy* k Lah.. Dun say lez.. We shall see when the times come.. =)

Friday

We went to Clarke Quay.. A group of girls went to celecbrate Ying Ying's birthday.. So much fun.. All of us are dancing like noone business.. And most importantly is that we drank tequila shot.. Whao.. So fun.. But after one shot and 3 cups of immediate drink of vodka (2 of them on Ying Ying's behalf becuz she can't drink anymore).. My head hurts.. I so lousy, right? There are 7 of us and we sat Kim Thong's lorry after that to come home.. After that, we went to 85 marketplace for supper.. Den I send Ying Ying home.. We have a good talk on the journey..

Satuday

It turn out to be a tiring day for me that I fall asleep at 10pm.. So early.. It does not like me at all.. I think it is because of the yoga lesson I am having in the evening.. Maybe becuz of the hangover, additionally, I sleep so late like 4am.. Den I wake up early at 9am.. Nothing much.. Except a family lunch at one of the chinese restaurant @ Outram Park..

i love you
3/07/2004 11:06:00 PM

Thursday, March 4

I finally got it through!!

To Someone:

You appear in my life like a miracle have happened but I never expect you are also the one who really hurt me.. I afraid the word "friends" can never appear in our dictionary anymore.. The future that i want to see will enever exists.. The feelings in my heart have been a stranger to me that I can never understand..

In life there are people who suits you.. There are people in yr life and who just come and pay a visit. And they just can never last.. At this moment, I realised how naive I am to think that we are friends that last..

I wanted to give happiness to myself.. I do not want and wish to wait anymore..

I just want to tell you.. You have your life.. I have my journey to go.. There are people in front for you.. I have mine my group of friends.. There are things that both of us want to do but not together.. We have diffferent dreams and prospect for each one of us..

I also do not go backwards to find fault in myself and you. It will only bring nightmares and hurt to both of us..

I just want you to know no matter what you thinking or what.. I am still your very good friend. And that shall never change no matter what.. I will still reach out my hand to you whenever you need help.. I just want to tell you.. You have my blessing for whatever you do.. Take care!!

*i still dunno wat i did that today have come in such a way to u & me*

i love you
3/04/2004 10:47:00 AM

Wednesday, March 3

Interesting Finding!!

I was studying just now when my mum ask me out to the living room to see the documentary show just now.. And I find out about Wu Dang.. Until now, Wu Dang actually still exists.. I tot I could only see ths in comics or novels. Haha..

I was thinking that maybe durig my holidays this april, I can go to Wu Dang and learn Kung Fu.. HeHe.. Also I can learn mediation.. Maybe that it a good idea.. =) I believe that it is a good way to cultivate one person teaching and thinking..

i love you
3/03/2004 11:31:00 PM

Confused!!

I realised that I have been not updating my blog regularly.. The only reason is because I am busy.. Projects and stuff have been swimming in.. And I am really facing alot of stress.. Inner struggle.. About studies, family, myself.. Just this 3 is more than enough... Next week, I have plan to go for a spa and massage and go for a good meal at Jin Hui's house.. Looking forward to it..

This friday got another test.. I think I would not be updating my blog tomorrow again.. I got to prepare for it.. I just receive the news today.. Abit of rush to get this done well.. I will do my best..

This few days got alot of thing happen and I need to get some urgent stuff done.. I wonder how can I juggle everything.. Pls bless me lord.. I am really tired.. Tomorrow got project meeting cuz have to meet deadline already, I need to rush through my project yet it is only 50% done.. And alot of other stuff to be done at the same time..

I really want to know who understand what I going through.. Who is there to really care for me.. WQ thinks that i am very relax.. I wonder which part of me tell him this.. I have not inform him that i can't meet him tomorrow.. i wonder will we quarrel over this again..

I have talk to a mentor of mine.. He have made to effort to make me make changes about my lifestyles and improve it.. I really hope that it can work. Most important is, it can make me work at peak performance.. I need alot of energy to do it.. And I can't let myself down.. I also have sign up for toastmaster and things to make myself busy.With this, I can concentrate on upbringing myself then to worry about things that is not within my control. *tRuE* Hope this works.

I think I gotta stop here.. there are too many things going up here *bRa|Nz*.. I really need a breather.. Study time!!

I really got to thanks Richard!!

i love you
3/03/2004 10:13:00 PM

Monday, March 1

Thoughts

I just mention a few days ago.. A few of my firneds actually took their O level results.. I hav realised a common things among them.. I realised that a lot of my friends actually did quite well for O level but ebcuz of English and Science or Maths, they are not able to go to the courses that they want..

I think it is very pity.. Liek one of them have actually 3A's but his English got D7.. That really wasted.. I wonder why god sometimes have to play with their results in such a way.. My god!! Anyway, I hope all of my friends can get the course that they want..

i love you
3/01/2004 11:58:00 AM